Yesterday I did one of those silly quizzes on Facebook……How many hearts have you broken? Mmmm, it said 121. Now I know I’ve been around for a while but I can’t possibly imagine that I have had 121 men in my life that were ever interested enough for me to break their hearts. If that’s been the case, I wish I knew who they all were, who knows maybe one fell through the cracks!!!!!! However, I am still very doubtful about this figure.
I am a self confessed romantic, no matter what happens that ideal never changes. I’m also a realist, so I understand that no love story is without speed humps. At some point in even the most beautiful of relationships there will be doubt, fear, arguments, the slamming of doors, the animated discussions, the disagreements and worst of all……the silent treatment!!!!! As I’m single you’re probably thinking I’m not the best reference on relationships, but that’s what makes me a good source of how not to do it. The romantic in me would love sunsets, snuggles and a peaceful coexistence forever……..yep, it would be nice and I think I may even deserve a little of that…..but damn reality will always get in the way. I also blame Walt Disney for instilling the perfect love story in the minds of young girls the world over. The Princess always got her perfect Prince Charming in the end and even if he was less than perfect she was able to transform him without argument…….tut tut Mr Disney.
With my own dismal love life history I can tell you this…… no one is perfect, stop expecting it and stop trying to create it. There is a reason you fall in love with someone……stay true to that reason and learn to grow and evolve together. No matter what stresses you have and there will be stresses…..bills, mortgages, children, who should do the dishes…..careers and just life…find time everyday for each other. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Mmmm, hindsight is an interesting life tool. You’ve all heard the old saying ‘never go to bed angry’…it’s true. And that silent treatment, man that’s the real killer. When you look at happy couples the key to that relationship regardless of attraction is communication. I admit, for someone that has a lot to say, when things are going south in a relationship I shut down. Not the silent treatment per se, I just stop communicating. If you do that for long enough in any form of relationship it’s marked for destruction. If there’s a problem, address it. If you’re in the wrong, admit it. If your significant other has upset you, tell them. Not from a place of anger, but from a place of love and understanding. Sometimes we don’t realise that a small, throw away comment can do so much damage. Talk, touch, do whatever it is you need to do to keep the doors of communication open. Life is way too short to be unhappy. It’s also too short to be alone wallowing in heartbreak of what may have been.
I watched a rom com the other day, Marley and Me…….it’s a cute movie……I cried like a baby at the end though, I will admit that it brought back memories of my own beautiful dog and I’m still not ready to go there after almost 4 years…….. Anyway there is a scene in it that is real….so real that most couples could relate. The one where Jenny has 2 toddlers, is exhausted has a naughty dog, has given up her career, by choice, resents her husband for going to work and getting out of the house……mmmm that IS real life, if you haven’t seen it, especially if you are a young couple in a similar situation, go and watch it…..know that it’s ok to not be ok…..but that you need to admit it, communicate it and work through it…..together. Something that sticks with me about my dad is that he never, I mean never left the house without giving my mum a kiss goodbye. It didn’t matter if he was going for hours or just to buy a loaf of bread, he always gave her that kiss. Think about it…….life happens, imagine if something happened to your other half after they left the house and the last memory you have is of being angry, distant or most of all silent. At least mum knew no matter what, if dad left that house they had always kissed each other goodbye. If you’re not doing that already, here’s your reminder to start.
All that being said……I still believe in romance, I still believe there is someone out there for everyone….. sometimes they will come from the strangest of places. Don’t dismiss the spark but don’t go throwing all your eggs into the basket as soon as you do. If someone is interested, you’ll know. Take your time, nothing great was ever rushed. Great relationships take time and continue to evolve forever…… nothing melts me more than seeing elderly couples still holding hands……man that is my ultimate wish. I haven’t given up hope, never give up hope. I don’t go out looking for that special someone to watch sunsets with me forever, I do believe however that we will find each other when we are meant to…..like most things in life, timing is everything. All I do hope, is that I recognise him when he shows up!!!! Most of all is to remember, if someone wants to be in your life they will be. They will communicate, they will show you in sometimes subtle ways they want you there, pay attention. As always a dash of fairy dust will always help.
Wishing you all love in whatever form it comes in…….listen to your heart, but take your head with you……