depression, Life

Pull your head in……

By the way the title is referring to me…….

I have this want, drive, need if you like to reach out to the lost, lonely, broken ones with the wish to help them put all their broken pieces back together. Sometimes I do this out of instinct but my radar is often off line.

I admit I have a habit of caring too much and yes I often overstep……I don’t mean to, it just happens. Some people don’t want or need my input. I understand this, but more often than not it doesn’t resonate with me until I’ve pushed them away with all that genuine care and love.

I appreciate people caring about me so much that I expect it in others. Now, I also know that some people push me away because they don’t know how to deal with what they are feeling. I confuse them. They often think I have an alterior motive.

I have trouble giving so much of myself one on one these days as I usually end up getting too connected and ultimately it leads itself to being let down and hurt. Now some of you may find this hard to believe as I am generally an open book……but one on one, if I give you my trust that means you are important to me. I am not shy per say but with certain connections I’m careful. Then again, I’m so used to this happening you would think I had built up a little resistance……no, every time it happens I question myself and my intentions.

One day I want to be able to give freely without the fear of rejection and deflation. However this is me. My natural thought process. To give. To help. To make things right in everyone’s world.

Will I change? Probably not. This is me.

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