depression

Moments….

To say this past year has thrown a few curve balls would be an understatement. So many ups, downs, twists and turns. When I closed the door on the family home twelve months ago, it was not with sadness, but strength and determination to move on.

I did. I have spent the past year not looking back and certainly not regretting the move…… I love my new home, I love that it’s all me, that it’s my little haven.

It really is true, home is not a location but a feeling and I certainly feel at home where I am now. However, my heart broke a little tonight. I had dinner with my old neighbours, which was lovely and we certainly don’t get together often enough. The view however, left me breathless at times.

The old home is gone, nothing but rubble and twisted metal. Shattered glass, roof tile and bricks. It was such a surreal feeling. I knew from the day it was sold that it was to be knocked down and rebuilt. I never had a problem with that.

image

But…….this was the family home, where I grew up. Where my children grew up and my youngest was born in that house. So many wonderful moments over the past 40 years in that home……..and so many not so wonderful. Sure, the good times outweigh the bad, but the bad cannot be ignored and is certainly the freshest in my mind.

I couldn’t help while looking at the home that was, thinking of the parallel between all the broken, jagged pieces lying on the ground and my broken dreams and hopes for a happy future. Please don’t get me wrong……again I state, I’m very happy where I am and I do not regret anything in the past 12 months. I just wasn’t prepared emotionally to have it all laid bare and broken in front of me.

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This is just one more twist in the long, long road. I’ve  faced it now, as difficult as it was……time to keep moving forward.

One step, one day…….

🌙⭐️💛

 

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